“ You can only access the future from the present. Instead of focussing on all that you want to be, simply be available to your present fully, acknowledging it for what it is. The next moment will naturally follow from that.”
These wise words came from a person with whom I was driving down from Goa and it made so much sense to me. I had just experienced a situation where fear had overwhelmed me simply because I was trying too hard to be fearless, instead of being with the fear I felt. What followed was justifications for my fear, which was completely unnecessary and prevented me from trying more. All this stemmed from me hearing someone say that the true Self knows no fear. Subconsciously I wanted to be fearless, and could not accept that I was not that. Had I not placed so much value on being fearless, I may have given myself the leeway to familiarise myself with the task at hand, focussing solely on doing that and probably mastered it, rather than talking about it.
A great lesson learnt.
Can I embrace what I am in this moment? Can I embrace my selfishness, my pettiness, my miserliness, for it is in the acknowledgment and the embrace that it actually disappears.
There is a beautiful story of Balram and Krishna. As they walk in the forest, a monster appears. Balram gets scared and looks away and tries to run and hide. The monster grows bigger and bigger. Krishna, on the other hand, pays full attention to the monster and as he does so, it shrinks and become a doll that Krishna can play with. The monster in this case is fear. But it could be anything - anger, jealousy, envy, miserliness. If you can look at each of these and figure out what the underlying fear is, it may become apparent that it is not such a big deal after all. Looking at what is present right now, head on, is the only way to eventually lessen it and play with it.
Deep down, we all want give and receive love and anything which is not that, becomes obnoxious and repulsive to us. Hence our anger, our fear, our envy become intolerable to us and we end up in a negative spiral about our own selves. In rejecting the fact we are assuaged by these coloured emotions, we create more space for them to grow and thrive.
Nature holds no judgements.
I wonder what would happen if we drop all pretences, all lofty ideals and notions, all philosophies and constructs, and become fully available right here, right now. What if we could become as natural in this moment as we truly are? Not as an external expression, but an internal acknowledgement. Maybe we could experiment with this and see how it goes? Do share with us in case you decide to do so.
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